Wrapping it up

Everyone blogs for a different reason; as a reader, it is my opinion that most blogs are products of a simple indulgence - look what I am doing, look what I have done. There's a term out there for it: Micro Fame. A way to selfishly share their lives without having to reciprocate and listen to others. The selfishness can easily be offset by reading other blogs, so essentially you get a bunch of people relating to others without interaction -- unless you comment each other, of course. I'm still amused by the "look what I'm doing every five minutes" style of blogging, even though I don't agree with bombarding people with so much useless information; I'm not really interested in knowing that you stubbed your toe 5 seconds ago and that your last fart smelled like bacon. It's interesting, though, that blogs have provided us the ability to know each other's intimate thoughts, yet still keep us at a safe distance, disconnected. It used to take effort -- a phone call or personal visit -- to find out how and what a friend was doing. Now, we place our emotions and experiences on a 24 Hour Buffet -- I've put it all out there... please take what you like, when you'd like.
I don't have a problem with this new system. In fact, it makes me all the more appreciative of the "old" ways; a phone call from a friend can make my day. And in cases of my dear friend Danielle, it is sometimes the only way to keep up with her trials and tribulations in another hemisphere. And her blog is something to admire, because it is also a great resource of how to survive when suddenly moving to Brazil in addition to her intelligent editorials and daily events.
Sometimes my own blogging was sporadic. I've always tried to keep the the right priorities: This is a blog about life, not a life about a blog. Quality over quantity.

Ultimately it comes down to this: This is a blog about my journey through grief and transition. Anyone that has lost a parent, or both, understands what an adventure it can be. The fact is that my journey will never end... it simply becomes a bit easier; I know how the path is paved, but sharp turns inevitably pop up whenever I think I know where I'm going.

Six years ago, I spent a week at the United States Naval Academy, in preparation to attend that prestigious institution. The competition was fierce, but I made it to the summer program, a good indication that I was on track to gain my admission. I wrote to my father, the Army man, every evening and detailed my experiences. He was so very proud that I had made it there. On the last day, we were subjected to yelling, questioning, and intense physical exertion -- your average boot camp stuff -- but most of us were spoiled 17 year old kids, so this was extreme. I just remember doing push ups as they mopped up the sweat and tears off the floor in front of me. Then, suddenly, we were sent outside to the main courtyard, greeted by the Navy band and the Dean. We were soaked in sweat, and now rain, yet we were overcome with so much pride... we freaking survived. I remember cheering, hugging strangers, and feeling euphoric. At the time, I considered it the proudest, most challenging time of my life.

A month later, I pressed my ear to my father's chest as his heart beat its final time. I planned the funeral and gave my eulogy to a standing room only crowd. I buried my parents together, after having held onto my mother's ashes for 12 years. The next few months became the most difficult challenge of my life.

I received the congressional nomination required for admission to the academy, but it no longer made sense to go. My only support was gone. Later, I got accepted to all the UC's that I applied to, but I found myself unable to go. New challenges -- a house, a business, a crash course in adult life -- all prevented me from going off to school.

I try not to use becoming an orphan at 17 as a scapegoat. But I cannot deny the catastrophic change it has caused in my personal development. There was a reason that I excelled at many jobs I once held, but never stuck with: It just wasn't where I was supposed to be. There was a reason I couldn't make house payments: I wasn't supposed to be a homeowner! (yet.) I just felt like I was living someone else's life. Even after being criticized by people I considered friends at the time, being told that my chances were gone, that I should find a trade and stick with it, etc etc... I made it. On the flipside, there are the friendships that have endured through all of this, that never doubted me. Those friendships make the naysayers hardly even memorable.

Five years later, I am here. I'm sitting in the UC Davis library, doing what I've only dreamed of: Putting off studying to write a blog post. Haha.

Every day I have my "I can't believe I'm here!" moments, and my friends always tease me for being the one that repeatedly asks, "Don't you just LOVE it here?" Finally, I am directing my own life. I am no longer having to react to circumstances beyond my control. I have choices, something I missed for a very long time. Best of all, I have the love of my life by my side.

The transition is over, and there is no longer any uncertainty.
I am retiring this blog.

But I'm still around, and I'll still receive comments. So if for any reason you want an update, let me know.

And if you're in town, we'll share a Cafecito con Leche.

Overdue Update on Things

Okay. I've calmed down. EZ Lube appealed the court's decision simply to buy more time. They are not interested in actually going back to court, rather they know that the deadline before the judgement gets entered is only a week away, so the appeal pushes that deadline back another month. I'll be waiting for my check, jerks. So that was pleasant news. Also, the local news station is doing an in depth report on this whole incident. I filmed an interview before moving, and they're finally airing it now since this is sweeps week for the networks. All I can say is... they filmed that DAYS before I moved -- the craziest, most stressful time ever! I'm sure I looked pretty haggard during the interview. Oh well... I don't live there anymore anyway! So you local folks... 11pm on channel 6 tonight.

The EZ Lube stuff sent me for a loop last night, and on top of that, my brain was fried from studying for my 2nd Art History midterm THIS MORNING which consisted of testing me on the names, dates, locations and descriptions of 40 or so pieces of Greek art. Glad that's over. That concludes the midterms for this quarter, and soon enough, this quarter will be over. Time flies on the quarter system.

I'm also proud to announce that Mark left today to attend his graduation ceremony. I really wanted to go, but I had that tedious midterm. Also, my not attending saves us hotel costs and having to get a pet sitter... and it affords his family an extra ticket so that no one gets left out. It's an exciting event for his family, because even though he's too humble to admit pride in his great accomplishment, he's the first one to graduate college! It's a great reflection of his parents' ability to provide him the opportunity to get his degree, as well as his own commitment to higher education. What is also remarkable is that he completed the the 180 units required for a bachelor's degree in about 2.5 years... that takes four years for the rest of us! He keeps brushing it off like it's no big deal, so hopefully he'll see the great amount of pride that his family has tomorrow when they hand him that diploma. And it has a been a good year for his family; just a few months ago his sister completed Junior College, so maybe there will be another Bachelor's Degree in the family in the next few years.

In the meantime, I am just chugging along with school stuff, selling the house stuff, and UNPACKING. The kitchen is done. The living room is sorta done... there are only a few of Mark's boxes left in there to be dealt with. The bedroom is a disaster, and the office is an obstacle course. There will be major organizing occurring this weekend! Thankfully, Mark made a "don't fit/don't wear/donate" pile of clothes, so he managed to decrease the piles of clothing that he owns. Now, instead of being able to clothe a small country, he can merely clothe a small village. For a year.

...and this biking as my only form of transportation thing is starting to pay off. I don't think I've lost any weight in pounds, but my endurance is getting a lot better and I don't feel like I am going to die before getting to my destination anymore. There are also certain areas that make me sneeze as I go by, and I have learned to turn my head when sneezing to avoid getting hit by my own mighty mucous mist.

And in recent news, Sunday marked the 2nd anniversary of the day I flew to Utah to see Mark for the first time. We've deemed that day the "official" start of the relationship, even though we considered ourselves together before actually, you know, getting together. I'll spare you the graphic details. He treated me to a steak dinner, 18 white roses, and a really nice conversation over dinner. During the day, we took a little road trip with the dogs through a neighboring town and up into the mountains. It was just a really nice break from reality. I'll get those photos posted when he gets back from Utah, since he took my camera with him.

So now I've got errands to run, including figuring out how to buy a 30 lb bag of dog food and getting it home without a car. Balance it on the handlebars? Should be interesting!

Ah, and here's a photo of Mark and I at the last home football game. Enjoy!

My biggest college accomplishment so far...

So without going into great detail about how much I had been dreading this morning....
I ran 1.5 miles in 19:55 minutes. Before the run, he coach announced that the cutoff was 20 minutes, to which some people responded, "Isn't that just walking?"

No, it's not, bitch.

19:55 minutes. Yes, that's slow, and yes, I got lapped by almost everyone else on the rowing team, and yes, I made it very apparent that I was hating it by my loud sighs and "i'm too old for this shit!" mutterings, but dammit, I made it. I could barely run a 15 minute mile in high school, so this was a big thing for me. And I had to do this at 6:15 am, which makes this the earliest I've woken up since living in Davis.

I hope to never have to do it again. (the running part... well, maybe even the waking up early part too.)

I'm going back to bed.

Favorite Foods, Frozen yogurt, Football, Friends...

I'm a little surprised at just how quickly the days are going by. Classes have been going on for two weeks, and it's been almost an entire month since I got here. So far so good.
I can't really say that I miss the desert -- I'll occasionally glance over the local news for that area -- but I do miss my little sister and my close friends. So... I miss like 8 people. If you're reading this, you're probably one of them. And you're welcome to come visit me anytime. I have moments where I get annoyed that I don't know everything there is to know about my new town, "I'm hungry at 10pm! What to eat?" but I honestly can't complain.

Mark arrived a week ago and promptly started working on Monday. It's been interesting so far as neither of us has been able to unpack much -- so there are things scattered everywhere. I've tried to make nice stacks of boxes to allude to my organizational nature, but it's not working very well. It's also very amusing to see the insane amounts of clothing that he owns. I think he could survive without doing laundry for 3 months straight without wearing something twice. Me? Maybe a week. Note to self: Use as an excuse for future clothes shopping.

So right now my favorite places to eat are Crepeville and Cultivé Frozen Yogurt. This is completely unfair, because I really haven't gone anywhere else to eat. These places are so delicious that I don't even want to try anything new yet. Crepeville makes enormous crepes that can feed two, which makes the meal nice and cheap and satisfying. Behold:

So there's one temptation that I'm working on resisting. This one is easily avoided by simply eating at home. The second temptation, however, is not easily avoided. There is no way to satisfy a craving for Cultivé other than just getting up and going there. Their frozen yogurt is simply amazing. The toppings are delicious, ranging from fresh fruit to fruity pebbles. Okay, so what makes it irresistable? My body needs it to function -- there ARE A BAZILLION live active cultures in it that are essential to my nutrition! Oh and it's fat free, too, so when convincing myself not to go there, I have absolutely no reason not to. Behold:

Delish.

In non-food related news, I've made a few friends so far. It's a little slow going since I am not in the dorms, and my lectures are so huge that they don't really afford you the time to interact with anyone. The only real class that gives me the chance to get to know my classmates is my Animal Bio Lab class.. and I'm usually wrists deep into a dead fish. :D :D :D There is something seriously wrong with the fact that I love cutting into dead things and pulling them apart.

My closest friend here is Weijing (Way-cheen) -- she's of chinese descent, but she's from Mexico City. It confuses everyone that meets her; they see her and think she's Chinese-American, then she starts speaking Spanish perfectly, and they just can't wrap their heads around it. I've had complete strangers ask me (when she's not around) "What IS she?" And then I try to explain the possibility that not everyone emigrates to America. Anyway, she's great.. and she's essentially on her own out here since her family is still in Mexico, so we can relate a lot and provide each other unique perspectives on things. Yay. She's also hilarious and we're always cracking each other up.

I've really been making a point of getting out and getting into what the town and university has to offer -- part of this is me trying to be more outgoing, but also getting my money's worth on this investment! Tuition is expensive! Free tickets? Free bus rides? I am milking all these student benefits for what they are worth! So the day after Mark got here, we went to a football game. I managed to get him a student t-shirt, and Weijing graciously gave him her student ticket, so he was able pretend to be a student in the student section. The game turned out to be the MOST EPIC GAME in history, with the winning points being scored from a 32 yard hail mary with only 2.9 seconds left on the clock -- it was seriously a miracle. Read about it here. The entire student section rushed the field and all hell broke loose and it was the most fun I've had in a long time. I forgot how much I really do like football -- years of watching it as a kid with my father are finally paying off.

We also attended a block party pot-luck thing for our neighborhood -- the city of Davis organizes it every year so that students and residents can get to know each other. Since I was sending Mark to go get the ingredients for our dish, I decided to go with something simple. You know, so it would be easy to pick up what we need. The recipe? Crab Salad with twist: get the premade stuff and add chopped toasted almonds, cilantro, lime, and put it on Pumpernickel toasts.
He's at the store. My phone rings.

"They don't have crab salad, can we use Seafood salad?"
"Yes. We need about 3 cups."
(pause, deli attendant talking in background)
"It only comes in pounds."
"Try to estimate"
"ummm.... Okay."
(more deli attendant conversation)
"Honey, I need to go, just call me if you need any more help."
"oh okay."

Phone rings again.

"Roasted Salted Almonds? Cause that's all they have"
"No... you're in the wrong aisle. Those are snacker nuts, you need to go over to the baking stuff."
"Okay"

Phone rings again.

"They only have slivered almonds"
"That's it? No other types??"
"No."
"Okay those will work."

Phone rings again.

"Cilantro, right?"
"YES."

Phone rings again.

"I'm in the bread section, I don't see the pumpernickel you want."
"Try the cheese section, where the Brie is. I'm sure they have it there"
"I'm only seeing water crackers."
"Keep looking."
"oh. there it is."

I forgot to mention that all of these phone calls took place while I was in the shower.

Exhausted, my gallant gatherer hands over the ingredients... and after toasting and chopping the almonds, toasting the pumpernickel, and throwing at all together, this is what I ended up with:

I say "what I ended up with" because after he handed me the ingredients, he seriously went and took a nap. The grocery store depleted him of all his energy. Mark says it's the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. ::insert eye roll here:: Gotta love him.

My first midterm is in a week... can you believe it? Life is good. Come visit! It'll give me more motivation to unpack!

Paradise, frankenstein bikes, and the Dingo

Well yesterday did not go as planned at all. I woke up at about 4 am to Socks dry heaving... if you're a dog owner, you know that sound. It makes you wake up, jump out of bed and make it to the nearest door to let the dog out in .5 seconds. It doesn't matter how cold or tired you are, you instinctual get a vomiting dog OUTSIDE without even thinking about it.
So on a very cold [to me] Davis morning, I found myself outside at 4 am with Socks, who seemed like she wanted to vomit, but was not producing anything -- just retching. Mark, who managed to bring himself to full consciousness this early in the morning, suggested that I call the UC Davis Teaching Hospital, which is the 24-hour vet around here. I am kinda against calling in these situations.... if it's an emergency, take the dog in. If it can wait, then wait. Very simple. A phone diagnosis is next to impossible. I called anyway, and the student that I spoke to served more as a therapist to me and helped calm me down.
The reason I was so concerned was because retching can sometimes be a the indicator of GDV, otherwise known as bloat. It's the #2 killer in dogs, and occurs in deeper chested dogs, like Dobies. More about bloat here. Luckily, all the other bloat symptoms were absent, and that is what ultimately made me go to bed and not worry about it until normal business hours.

So at 9am, after more retching, I made an appointment with a local vet that a few neighbors recommended. I had to call a cab to get out there, since EZ LUBE RUINED MY ENGINE and I have no way to get my old girl across town.

Dramatization

End result: Socks is okay... but the suspicion is that something is up with her esophagus rather than her stomach. She's on a rice and cottage cheese diet for now, and she's getting some Pepcid AC with her meals. That, added to the anti-inflammatory she's taking for her lower back and the joint support pills... Socks is one old lady. But I love her and so I'll keep her going as long as she wants to.

So no farmer's market. Instead, I ordered groceries online and had them delivered this morning. I'm not bike confident enough yet to hang groceries from my handlebars, so this was a great alternative. I hope to never use this option again, because it just felt sorta bourgeoisie having a Safeway.com truck in front of my house.

In the evening, I hopped on my bike to explore the neighborhood.
I ventured into an area which reminded me of the Secret Garden... I went through some path and all of a sudden I was in the most beautiful neighborhood ever. There were tons of bike paths and I almost felt like I was discovering some mystical land. There were homes with large gardens, people cultivating, sunflowers and green everywhere.... and then a tiny vineyard. Oh and few parks thrown in there, the sounds of kids playing, people playing Frisbee.... what the hell is this place? Is this normal around here? Do these people know the paradise they're living in??? I later found out that I had found myself in the middle of Village Homes, one of the nicest places to live in Davis. Not bad. I'll take a camera next time and get some nice shots so you'll at least have an idea of what I'm raving about.

On my way home, I ran into a bunch of kids riding crazy looking bicycles. As it turns out, my neighbor down the street is Peter Wagner, famous in this town for making the most unique bikes you've ever seen. When I first passed by his house, I assumed his front yard was some sort of bicycle graveyard. When a kid on a penny farthing rode by, I couldn't help but laugh. I soon found out that I was riding through the neighborhood block party.

Really? There's such thing? Neighbors that know each other and talk to each other? I went home and changed and went back to check it out. I can't remember any names at this point but the people were awesome and very friendly. I sat at a table and engaged in some great conversation with people that I didn't even know. It was really nice... something you'd never find in the desert. Crazy.

Which brings me to the favorite part of my evening... A neighbor asked, "Are you the new neighbor with the two large dogs? My boys were telling me about them. They said one of your dogs is part Dingo!" Socks, my geriatric mutt... straight from the outback! So now her son has told all the neighborhood kids about the new Dingo down the street.

I also got to meet my other next door neighbor. I am going to endearingly refer to her as the crazy cat lady. She's not crazy... but she does live alone, she has a bunch of foster cats and bunnies, wears crocks, doesn't eat meat, drives a 1989 Honda with liberal bumper stickers all over it, is a self proclaimed pack-rat, and talks A LOT. I know her life story already. Her house is hardly visible from the street because of the overgrown shrubs and there's no clear path to her front door. But she likes animals and doesn't mind barking... which means she's the perfect neighbor.

Today's plan is to bike into town to Rite Aid to pick up Socks's pepcid and not get lost. I was also contemplating biking into campus to map out my classes... so that I look like I know what I'm doing on the first day of class.

I'd better make some rice before I go.

Week one in Davis

Before I get into this week's misadventures, I'd like to make an important news announcement:
Mark got a job offer in Sacramento! A really good job offer. We're excited! And today, he finished school. So proud of my hunny with his sexy B.S. in Computer Science... woooooo!

So Monday (or was it Tuesday?) I had to pick up Socks's medication at the Rite Aid a few miles away. What a fantastic excuse to get out of the house and get more acquainted with my new town, right? I did my usual over-planning and google-mapped out my adventure route... and I soon found myself on a bus headed downtown. My student ID lets me ride the bus for free! But in normal Michelle fashion, I walked East instead of West after getting off the bus -- so Rite Aid was, of course, nowhere in sight. It wasn't until I hit the railroad tracks that I admitted that I was lost. After finally figuring out where I went wrong, I retraced my steps and headed back. It was nice to calmly stroll the streets of Davis and take in the nice non-desert qualities of this town. Cool breezes, tress, GREEN! It's delish.
After getting Socks's medication, I found the nearest bus stop and sat in the grass to get some rest. I shuffled through my purse to find my student ID and realized that I didn't have it anymore. I dropped it somewhere. ugh.
So now the bus is $1 instead of FREE. @#$@#$!
Angry and tired, I scratched an itch on my leg -- except I scratched off the scab from my stab wound. Now I'm bleeding profusely on the side of the road. My hands are dirty from my now necessary bus fare so I don't want to touch the wound... so I rummage through my purse to find some sort of dressing... A receipt! Good enough! The bleeding stops so I pull the receipt off... and the remaining scab sticks to it. FANTASTIC. Now I'm bleeding even more. I just crossed my legs and used my opposite leg to apply pressure to it. Now it hurts. Angry, tired, bleeding, in pain. This IS NOT how the day was supposed to go.

I got home and took my anti-depressants... ie. CHOCOLATE COVERED ANYTHING IN THE FRIDGE, which just happened to be bananas and strawberries. This was completely healthy because I used dark chocolate. And just to be ensure that this was a completely healthy, guilt free meal, I sprinkled flax seeds on it. Total health food.

Please ignore the phallic theme here -- what can I say? It's been weeks!

I didn't really do anything for the next few days. Small walks here and there with the pups, but no real adventures to report. Turns out there's a cute little park near my house. I walked through there one afternoon and saw the cutest thing: a little kid soccer practice. Little, like 5 year olds.


All the kids just stood there and yelled "I'm open! I'm open!" anytime someone else had the ball. It was way cute. Then I looked down, and saw this:

Ummm... utopia, anyone?

Today was a big day... I had real errands to run! I treated myself to lunch at Noodle City. For about 6 bucks they serve you a trough of soup and noodles. I was no match against the immense wonton noodle soup I ordered. mmmmm....


I picked up my bike from the bike shop as well, all tuned up and with new fenders! Gotta avoid that freshman stripe at all costs. I walked my bike out of the shop... and kept walking. I realized that I hadn't ridden a bike in 10 years... and I wasn't going to embark on my maiden voyage in the center of town. Cars. People. Michelle on her ass.... not going to happen here. My biggest fear in life is looking like I don't know what I'm doing. It's really silly, but I avoid it at all costs. So.. I walked that bike on the sidewalk with a confident look on my face ("oh yeah, I'm a cyclist who is just walking my bike to take in the sights... taking it easy...") for a good 6 or 7 blocks until I hit a great stretch of bike lanes near the campus.
I hopped on my bike and hey, it was like riding a bike. ::insert courtesy laugh:: Then I pedaled faster. I felt really cool! Like a cool kid... like look-at-me-I'm-a-student-on-a-bike-I-do-this-all-the-time! And then that cool feeling was replaced with tightening quadriceps and shortness of breath. Holy crap, I am out of shape. I huffed and puffed and made it home, victorious. I'm going to have to bike to the campus everyday until school starts in order to be somewhat prepared for my daily commute. Which reminds me: School starts Thursday! omgomg

After relaxing at home, I gathered up some dirty laundry and headed to the laundromat with Diego.

Diego disagreed.

I'm running out of food to eat so tomorrow I'll be headed back to the amazing farmer's market. Check out this great slide show about it: Full Belly and Full Basket

And that's it. :D