Whitewater and the PCT

Although I've got a fun hike planned for tomorrow, I really was antsy today to get my blood flowing. And since Mark is now in Utah, this would require leaving the house. I called up a few Dog Park buddies and we headed out to Whitewater.

I am so very impressed with the beautiful restoration that is going on there. What used to be an old trout farm is now being turned into a Visitor facility, campground, and picnic area. They aren't officially open, however we were welcomed by very friendly folks from the Wildlands Conservancy.
It's just a great thing that they're doing up there. I had visited that area about a year ago and it looked like a dump. The fish farm had been closed for who knows how long and there were dilapidated homes and junk everywhere. It was definitely a breath of fresh air. I can't wait to check it out again when they're officially open.

The best part? We were only 1/2 mile away from the Pacific Crest Trail, a trail that runs from Canada to Mexico. So with our sights on Mexico, we headed up up and up. I think we traveled all of 3 miles or so, but the elevation gain was killing me! It was a short and sweet hike that only took us 2 hours.

Burnt remains and new life

Diego in his proudest moment.

Cow Tracks! There were cowpies everywhere.

Me and my Robert

Water Break

Whitewater River

Diego leading the way

The view driving home
Snowy Mt. San Jacinto


What will tomorrow bring?

I took a shower in the dark
scalding water numbed my skin
inhaling thick steam
a taste of reality

senses quelled
to truly listen to my heart.

Horse Thief Creek

Carrizo Canyon was closed. Boooooo.
There were trails in other directions, so after deciding which one to take, Diego and I headed west. That's when I noticed one of many "Dogs Prohibited" signs. I need to get an updated version of my hike book, because this hike was listed as Dog-Friendly. Not one to break the rules (or scare off those endangered Bighorn Sheep) we got back into the truck... I was a bit disgruntled and Diego was very confused.
Instead of wasting the day, we headed up Hwy 74 into the Santa Rosa mountains. Horse Thief Creek was our new destination, about 2.25 miles of ups and downs via the Cactus Springs Trail.

Right away we ran into an old dolomite mine. Abandoned things usually creep me out, but I figured any monster or zombie or combination of the two would be no match for my fearless Doberman.

I still did not have the nerve to approach the abandoned cars, simply because scary movies have imprinted me with assumption that there WILL be a skeleton at the wheel. I snapped my pictures and quickly made my way out of there.


Right after this sign was another sign that had nothing on it, leaving my imagination to come up with what it might have said.

The ecosystem up there is called Chapparal; a transition ecosystem between Desert and Forest. It was nice to look to my left and see my familiar desert plants, then look to the right and see some pretty heavily wooded areas. There was even a bit of snow visible south of where we were headed.

About 2 hrs later, we arrived at Horse Thief Creek. I munched on some beef jerky while Diego explored a bit. We also played fetch with rocks, because it's hilarious to watch Diego try to find the exact rock that I threw into the stream.

As we made our way back, I found a baby Gap hat near the Dolomite mine. My first instinct was to get freaked out by this, but after a little thought, I doubted the existence of a Baby Gap Ghost. I put it on Diego and he loved it, as you can see.

We managed to make it back before sunset. The entire hike took about 3 hrs.

We stopped at Vista Point on our way down the mountain. I'm not sure when they fixed it up, but it looks so much better now. It used to be a crappy gravel parking lot with beer cans everywhere. Now it has a new parking lot, a barrier wall, and this nice plaque. It's worth checking out if you ever pass by.

I'd like to return to that hike sometime and try my hand at going all the way to Cactus Springs. I'd have to be up and ready by like 7am... so maybe not. I'm just not that advanced yet.

Dressed and Ready

...by 10 am! On a Saturday! It's amazing!

Today's adventure: Carrizo Canyon. It should take about 4 hours.

We'll see how it goes.

What's Wrong?

Mark left yesterday morning.

Someone needs to write a manual for me, entitled, How to survive a long distance relationship without wanting to stay in bed all day clutching a shirt that your love accidentally left behind that still retains their smell.

I know that i'll get through this, again, and that Mark will be back soon.
This knowledge does nothing for me. I'm really bummed out.

I spend a month falling even more in love with him, and then he has to go. So now I have to package away these feelings for another month or so; I have to get out of my in love state of mind and just grit my teeth and get through the time that he's not here.

I haven't talked to him since he left... a few text messages here and there, but no actual conversation on the phone. I just can't do it. Every time I think about him, my eyes well up with these pesky tears and I feel this obnoxious wrenching in my heart and in less than 30 seconds, I end up looking like a tomato. It's a terrible mess.

But in all seriousness, I'm tired. It's hard to ride this roller coaster of extreme emotions. I don't want to be sad anymore. I just want him to be here.... or anywhere with me. I don't like spending all my energy on myself; I don't like making dinner just for me or shopping for groceries that are just going to be consumed by me... or sleeping in a bed that only contains me. I can do it, but I just don't like it. ESPECIALLY because I'm lucky enough to have found someone that I'd like to do these things with for the rest of my life. I'm very fortunate... but why does it have to feel so terrible?

keep busy keep busy

I think I'll go on a Mother/Son hike with Diego tomorrow. I could definitely use the exercise.

As for now... I've got a shirt to sniff.

The day before he left

The Painted Canyons in the Mecca Hills, Ca.

Speaking up and Feeling Good

I'm not sure where the time goes, but I've noticed that having a job that doesn't involve me being parked in front of a computer all day really has an effect on my blogging and most things Internet related. I just feel like I'm living life now instead of just observing it and writing about it. I wonder if anyone else that blogs on a regular basis might feel the same way. I haven't written much at all lately... and it is something that concerns me. Am I keeping myself too busy? Or, perhaps, am I living in the moment rather than reflecting on it? Either way, I am happier. A little more tired at the end of the day, yes, but overall I am a lot happier. And I tend to show that with the smile that I awaken with every morning rather than writing about it on here.

Because if I'm not happy, my typing can't even keep up with my thoughts. Figures!

I've learned a few valuable lessons in the last few months, but most importantly, to never give up. So cliché, but damn true! Without going into too much detail, my mortgage company put me in a terrible spot financially because they didn't follow through on their end of the deal. I was a little behind on my house payment and I was offered a way to catch up; I just had to submit all sorts of paperwork. I was approved for it, yet my case was in "review" for months. I was told not to pay anything during my review. Then my faxes were lost. Reps couldn't give me straight answers. It was a mess. All a result of bad customer service and their terrible bureaucracy. They were going to auction off my house. It should have never gotten to that point. It was frightening and I was ready to give up.

But seriously, Fuck them. I need my damn house.

I decided to have a mature tantrum. I threw a sophisticated fit.
I went to the local news station and told them everything. All the lost faxes, the lies, the incompetence... and they did a story. And the mortgage company caught wind of it. Not more than 5 hours after the cameras left my house, everything was resolved, just the way it should have been months ago. They called and apologized and made it all better... because they didn't want to have bad press, especially right before Christmas.

So that was an interesting little adventure. I'm glad that's all over with.

I've lost 5 pounds. I stopped eating crap. Funny how easy it became once I stopped shoving sugar laden foods into my mouth. As with all my weight related endeavors, we'll see how it goes. I reinstated by gym membership, yet haven't gone yet. I just don't know where to start with exercising, because I want to just do it right. Luckily, I have a fitness knowledgeable co-worker that is going to help me develop a routine. Maybe next week... after Mark leaves back to Utah. That's a lot of my motivation; I won't be seeing him for a good 2 months, so I am looking forward to looking amazingly hot much healthier and more fit by then. I want to wear something that I feel fantastic in for Holly's wedding, not just some dress that I managed to squeeze into. We'll see.

I love my job, I love my man... and I'm getting back into loving life. And when I'm happy, I make delicious meals, including what Mark has bestowed "The Epic Breakfast":


I'm thinking that I'll throw a few recipes on here once in a while as I discover them or create them, mostly for fun, but also as a late start on the Cooking Challenge. No promises yet.

Mark's been here for a month now, and it's been an interesting time for us. Our relationship continues to evolve and go in directions that we didn't anticipate, sometimes good, sometimes not so good. It's never been bad, just not so good. Especially with all the financial stress and that whole house nightmare -- a lot of my negative crap was most apparent in our relationship. I can say now that things are back on track and wonderful... and now he's leaving. ::grumble grumble:: He leaves Thursday.


We went to the zoo today. Somewhere between the parking lot and the entrance, I turned into a 10 year old. I love animals. Not just, "hey look how cute!".... I have to read all about them and memorize facts and stare and wonder what it would be like to treat them and care for them. Or to watch a surgery on them. I'm ridiculous. After feeding the giraffes and having them lick my hands, I regretted not getting them to lick my face. Giraffe kisses!!! That would have been so amazing! Of course, Mark and every rational human being disagrees. I'm making a point of it next time.


I'm going to paint my nails now, because I get self conscious when I'm putting an IV catheter into an animals and my nails look like crap. Yes, I'm that ridiculous. :P

Oh, oh... I'm still in love with Mark, because were are totally meant to bee.

Except those are butterflies... and I couldn't come up with a butterfly pun.