"Vanity keeps persons in favor with themselves who are out of favor with all others"

Someone who is more a business acquaintance than a friend asked me if I could drop her off at the hospital and pick up her up later because she was having surgery. The way she described it made it sound like she was fixing some medical condition, so I happily agreed. She didn't really want anyone else to know that she was having surgery, not even her son. RED FLAG. Whatever. Then she mentions that she is also having a laser peel at the same time... she's taking a week off of work so she might as well have a peel, right?
So of course, I googled "laser peel" so that I'd have an idea of what she was about to put herself through, and when I started telling her what to expect, she told me she didn't want to know. RED FLAG. And when I questioned her about the original procedure, she said she didn't really know and didn't really want to know. RED FLAG.

On the way to her appointment, she told me that upon picking her up, the nurses would probably insist that I stay with her for the first 24 hours... and just to tell them that I would. But not to worry, "just drop me off at home." umm... okay. Say it with me, folks: RED FLAG.

So four hours pass and I get the call from the nurse -- she's ready. I sit out front in the car and wait.

And there she is, this tiny framed woman with the largest head I have ever seen. She's wrapped up and her face looks like she spent the day with a boxing kangaroo. Pink and swollen and shiny from multiple layers of vaseline, she's dazed and she looks like hell. She's so puffy that she can't blink or move her face at all. She looks like an alien in a wheelchair.

I get her home and into bed, do all the things for her that she can't do for herself, help her take her pills and then go fetch more water from the kitchen. I come back to the room and she's snoring. Her eyes are open and she's snoring. Mrs. Tomato Head is sleeping with her eyes open. Later I find out from the pleasant woman on the phone that this is completely normal and that she's loaded with goop so that her eyes won't dry out. Lovely.

So now what? What do I do? I had no idea it would be so bad, I felt compelled to stay just in case she were to wake up disoriented and heaven forbid she trip and fall and land on her ballooning face... but I didn't sign up for this. I was her ride, not her nurse, and I'm not THAT close to this woman. I couldn't call anyone to stay with her because I couldn't think of anyone that would. It was... sad.

I went home, fought with myself for a while because even though she didn't inform me that I'd need to be her nurse, I'm still a human being and I help when I can. But she's an adult. She should have known what she was getting herself into. It was unfair to hold myself responsible for her well being.. right?

I didn't go back until this morning to take her to her post operative appointment, and she was fine. A little less swollen, but still unrecognizable. While she was in getting bandages changed, I asked a few questions and came to find out that she had just had herself a facelift.

A FACELIFT! And a very expensive one, at that.

I could have taken her out back and beat the living hell out of her and she'd look exactly the same, all for free.

So what bothers me is that she really didn't need it in the first place. She put herself in such a terrible condition for this cosmetic procedure that she really didn't need, just to have a slight difference afterwards? And I understand that she didn't want anyone to know about it, but at least be honest with the person that does know.


***Note to self: Do not pair a large bank account with low self esteem.

So i'll be doing the best I can to help her. I don't mind it as long as it isn't at my expense.. I'm using her car to run her errands and I am not going to stress myself out like I did yesterday.

Ah, to be beautiful.