I started my new job today as a vet tech. I love it.It's tough. You have to go from "awww I love animals! they are so cute!" to "this dog has no chance and we need to hurry up and euthanize it."
My morning started off with a 12 year old white chow mix that had been hit by a car. Since I had only been there fifteen minutes and I didn't know where anything was, I was basically stuck standing there, watching this dog pant heavily and let out a few whimpers. I can't really describe the feeling that I got when I saw the x-ray; his spinal cord was broken at a 90 degree angle and there was absolutely no hope. It was a sort of a helpless feeling coupled with the urge to go back in time and change the course of events that morning. The owners authorized the euthanasia and opted not to be present and to not have the ashes returned to them. I understand that everyone is different, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of abandonment. But then again, they did bring the dog in in the first place, so it was unfair to assume that they didn't care.
I held his paw while they euthanized him. It was so fast. Although it makes me sad to think about it, it was incredibly relieving to see his body suffer so terribly and then just stop in a matter of seconds. I closed his eyes when no one was looking and gave him a little scratch behind the ears. And that was it. He was placed in a black bag and I took him back to the crematorium.
It was business as usual.
So it's pretty apparent that I am a total softy. I felt a tear when I was walking back from the crematorium, but there wasn't time to be sad because there was another emergency case arriving. All this before 9am.
I've already found a mentor among the techs and I can tell that we will be getting along very well. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the things that I need to learn, but I feel so comfortable in that environment. Finally, a job that fits. It's like searching for that perfect pair of pants and finally finding them. And then getting paid to wear them. Oh yes.
I'm exhausted, my feet hurt and I want to just go to bed now.
I can't wait for tomorrow.
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1 comment:
hooray! as sort of depressing as this sounds (it reminds me of taking Ricky the Cat to the vet hospital senior year after he'd been either hit by a car, or attacked by a dog, and just... i cant even rehash more details without crying so, i wont), it also sounds fantastic to be helping animals (saving, or even saving them from suffering) and learning this really cool, valuable skill. way to go!
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